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Disenfranchised grief - why understanding it could make a big difference to your life at the moment

5/2/2021

You might not even realise it, but disenfranchised grief might be holding you back at the moment. This post will help you understand what it is and give you a few simple ways to help get yourself back on track.

What I've done to regain my balance this January

8/1/2021

The six things I've put back in my life to help find my sense of balance and calm again.

When my sleep gets disrupted and I become aware of my inner-voice constantly reminding me of all the things I could be worrying about I know something isn't quite right!

I wasn't well during the Christmas holidays. A combination of illness and just wanting a complete break from the normal routine, meant I let a lot of my normal self-care practices slip.

To help find my sense of stability and calm I re-introduced the following things every day:

Yoga. I've been doing a five or a15-minute morning yoga video. A 14-minute office-break yoga video after work and a seven or 12-minute wind-down video before bed. If I could only fit in one of these I would choose the wind-down night-time video. It feels good to have yoga back in my daily life.

Night-time tea. I was still drinking this over the holidays, but often after alcohol or a caffeinated cup of tea. I have also just bought some after-dinner herbal tea bags to add into the evening mix!

Morning mindfulness in the garden. When I was ill I stopped being the first up in the morning. That continued during the holidays! It meant I didn't stand outside in the back garden with the dogs first thing in the morning. Since getting back to work this week I've been outside each morning just for a couple of minutes. It's amazing the difference it makes.

Planning out my week. I barely used my bullet-journal over the holidays. That meant I didn't have a plan for each day and stopped writing down my daily gratitudes. They were small things that provided an anchor for each day and week. Being without it over the holidays has made me realise how adrift I've felt without that anchor.

Looking ahead. My husband and I spent some time thinking about when we would take time off work over the year. We also thought about holidays and came up with some ideas. Given the current situation those plans are likely to have to change, but it felt good to have something to aim towards. I also find that looking ahead can help to get my life into perspective and stop me worrying about things I can do nothing to change.

Herbal drops. I've finally made myself another blend of herbal drops to boost immunity and help calm and ground. I had been regularly taking that blend last year and noticed the difference when I forgot to take it for a few days! I finished a bottle before Christmas and forgot to make up a new one but I'm back on it now. :)

If you'd like to find out how working with me can help you regain your inner calm - or perhaps help you find it for the first time - you can book a Discovery Call here. :)

A moment of mindfulness to start your day

6/11/2020

A simple way to find a moment of mindfulness to help you start your day right.

Homebotanical herbal drops for female hormones

15/9/2020

Homeobotanicals are a safe, effective and easy to use way of bringing your body back into balance naturally. This blog post introduces you to some of my favourite blends for supporting women with peri-menopausal symptoms.

Eating and anxiety - the link you might not know about

10/9/2020

My home-grown tomatoes, courgettes and cucumber.

It might be surprising for some of you to hear that your food can have an impact on your anxiety and feelings of stress.

Boost your immunity this Autumn

6/9/2020

Find out more about boosting your immunity with homeobotanical herbal drops.

How to improve your health with a 360-degree approach

20/5/2020

Walking with my dogs is great exercise and also helps me relax.

Some manageable tips on looking after your health and well being by focusing on eating well, sleeping well, keeping active and managing stress.

The benefits of keeping things simple

13/5/2020

Keeping focused can help to keep you calm and in control

Some simple habits that will keep you feeling more in control, productive and resilient.

Small changes still make a big difference

6/5/2020

Given the current COVID-19 crisis, maintaining your health is likely to be on your mind at the moment. If you are looking to introduce some positive changes in your life I hope this will give you some ideas. :)

Four ways to keep yourself healthy and panic-free

11/3/2020

Eat well to support your immune system. Photo by Anna Pelzer on Unsplash

A few common sense ideas on how to help yourself and your family stay healthy and calm.

A few tips to help you find your rest & digest state

14/2/2020

Try starting your day with a drink in the garden. Photo by Farhan Khan on Unsplash

Your morning drink in the garden, yoga or even moon-gazing. What will you try? Here are a few ideas to help you find your rest & digest state.

The rest & digest response and why it's so important

30/1/2020

We all know about fight & flight, but what is the rest & digest response?

Suffer from hay fever? This could be just what you're looking for. :)

18/9/2019

Look forward to summer walks with the Hay Fever Prevention Plan. :)

You might think I've got my seasons mixed up, but honestly, Autumn is the best time to act to get on top of your hay fever for next Spring and Summer.

You might be surprised to know that hay fever is actually defined as a chronic disease. That means it's there all the time.

So yes, your symptoms might be over with for this year, but no, your hay fever isn't gone.

The symptoms you suffer with during the hay fever season are an acute flare up of a deep-seated chronic disease.

In my experience as a homeopath, but also personal experience as a former hay fever sufferer, it is common to dismiss your hay fever as "just a bit of an inconvenience" each year. This is despite the fact that you know what a huge negative impact your hay fever symptoms cause you.

I imagine sufferers do that as they don't want to be to be known as the person that moans about a bit of sneezing and a runny nose as that's what hay fever is perceived to be by people that don't know better.

In 2018 a number of national newspapers ran stories on hay fever which offer support to this theory. Research reported in The Independent on April 22nd 2018, found that one in five sufferers were so badly affected by their hay fever that they had to take time off work. However, a third of these people lied to their boss about why they needed time off as hay fever was not seen to be a legitimate reason to stay at home.

Anti-histamines are the most common conventional way to deal with symptoms of hay fever. As a homeopath it was particularly interesting (and actually quite a surprise) to see reported that of all those that use anti-histamines to manage their symptoms, 84% of them admitted that they still suffered.

Are you one of the many that take medication to suppress your symptoms but still suffer?

Perhaps you don't like taking medications but are fed up of suffering?

If you answered 'yes' to either of these questions then this could be just what you're looking.

The Hay Fever Prevention Plan

The Hay Fever Prevention Plan works by addressing your hay fever when it is dormant - that's why now is the perfect time to act. Let me tell you a bit more about it:

| It’s a simple, structured and individualised plan. You follow the 5 week plan in Autumn and the New Year.

| It addresses the roots of your hay fever and starts to de-sensitise you to histamine, pollens and grasses.

| It builds over time – you can expect to see a big improvement next year but repeating the process again the following year will give even better results.

| It provides effective remedies to take during your hay fever season to avoid the need for anti-histamines and deal with any acute symptoms during the season.

Ultimately the plan gives you the chance to enjoy the summer again using an entirely natural approach. What's more, because of the way that homeopathy works, you're likely to see improvements in more than just your hay fever. :)

What now?

If you already know that now is the time for you to act then please click here to book your Hay Fever Initial Consultation with me.

For those of you that would like a bit more information first then click here to book a free 30 minute, no obligation, Discovery Call with me, or send me a message.
🙂
As a former hay fever sufferer myself, I know what a difference this plan can make and I would love to help you make this change in your life. Just think, if you take action now, next summer you could be walking through a field just like the one above and actually be enjoying yourself. :)

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Take care,
Sarah x

My anxiety story

3/5/2019

One of the most life-changing decisions I've made was to do something about my anxiety and deep-rooted lack of self-worth. I started working on this over 10 years ago. Initially with counselling and then with homeopathy.

It was a big decision but it's been so worth it.

Outwardly you wouldn't know the difference, but the change on the inside is enormous.

Truly life-changing. Health-changing too.

No more IBS. No more heading towards a stomach ulcer. No more constant state of high-alert just waiting for criticism.

I just remembered a thought that went through my head about 16 years ago. It's about something seemingly trivial, but is an example of how I lived in my head and in a near constant state of fight or flight when I wasn't at home with my husband or with some very close friends or family.

It goes something like this. It's in the final months of my first pregnancy. We're in the process of getting all the things you need when you have your first baby. I find out about a Nearly New Sale for clothes and equipment for babies and children. For a moment I think "what a great idea". Then I think "but I haven't had the baby yet - what if someone asks why I'm there?". We never went.

It sounds ridiculous now, but I used to have this sort of constant questioning and belittling dialogue in my head most of the time. It wasn't the sort of thing I discussed with anyone as I didn't realise that it didn't have to be like that.

It's a horrible place to be. Really horrible.

But the good news is that it doesn't have to be that way.

Do you have any anxieties, self-doubt or negative ideas about yourself that stop you leading a happy and fulfilled life?

If you do then perhaps this is the time to be brave and ask for help.

The Spring is a great time of year to begin working on issues of insecurities and depression. Everything outside is coming to life and the days are getting longer.

Think about how good it would feel to approach next Winter without the weight of your past dragging you down.

If you would like to find out more about having a consultation with me to address your anxiety, depression and any other related symptoms, please get in touch so we can talk. Everything we discuss is confidential.

I offer a free, no obligation 30-minute Introductory Call so you can ask any questions you have and see if you think I'm the right person to help you through this.

If you think I am, we can book you in for your initial consultation or work out a package of treatment so that we can work together over the next few months.

You can reach me at info@sarahpearman.co.uk or you can give me a call on 07734 922129 (if I can't pick up I'll get back to you as soon as I can).

You can also book an Introductory Call here.

Sarah x

Balancing your hormones - there is another way

3/4/2019

Myths about the contraceptive pill

Earlier this year, a common misconception about the contraceptive pill came to light. In fact several 'myths' about the pill were revealed.

As an alternative healthcare practitioner with a particular interest in women's health, I hope that bringing this story to light will encourage more women to explore all the options available when it comes to their hormones.

I urge you to read the article "Nine major myths about the pill - from cancer to weight gain" by Holly Grigg-Spall published in The Guardian on 25th February 2019. I think it's likely that many of you will be surprised by what you read.

I am especially interested in raising awareness about the second myth that Grigg-Spall discusses - Will the pill regulate my periods?

I regularly come across women that started taking the contraceptive pill in their teens to help 'regulate' their heavy/painful/irregular periods.

In fact, the bleeds you experience on the pill are not menstruation at all, but the response of your body to the 7 day withdrawal each month from the synthetic hormones that make up the pill.

Your own cycle has been completely suppressed.

In fact, Lara Briden, author of the Period Repair Manual actually describes the state of being on the pill as being like a "chemically induced menopause".

I believe it's important for a woman to make decisions about her health from an informed position - knowing all the options available to her. Too often we only know about the mainstream options.

Is this something that affects you, or perhaps your daughter or a friend?

Are you struggling with symptoms linked to your hormones?

Heavy, painful or irregular periods?

Tiredness, nausea or headaches?

Acne or sleep issues?

Perhaps you are approaching the menopause?

If you would like to try a natural approach to balancing your hormones and any other related symptoms then I can help you. :)

I have put together a 6 month package to help you find balance in your cycle and feel in control.

The package includes:

6 consultations with me
a herbal detox using easy to take homeobotanical drops
all your homeopathic remedies
herbal drops to support you throughout the six months
email or phone support between appointments
a Neal's Yard organic body lotion or shower gel with a specially formulated blend of essential oils to help give you a feeling of balance and clarity
information about other options that I've learnt about over the last 15 years in relation to periods and contraception.

I offer a safe, calm and caring environment for you to talk and everything we discuss is confidential.

All of this will cost £349.

However, for anyone who signs up by the end of April 2019 I can offer it to you at the special price of £299.

This works out at less than £50 a month to help you:

find your natural balance;
address any symptoms linked to your hormones and;
because of the way homeopathy works, you can expect improved sleep and a boost in your energy levels and sense of well-being too. :)

Payment by installment is possible.

If you're thinking - is this for me? - then contact me to arrange a free 30 minute Introductory Call so we can chat about your situation. If you prefer you can book it online.

What my clients have said after working with me.

"I feel more balanced since my first appointment and calmer too."

"My period has settled into a regular pattern now and I feel fine when I have it. No more pain-killers and no bloating."

I look forward to hearing from you.

Sarah x

Make time for you

13/2/2019

Love yourself this Valentine's Day (and everyday)

Self-care has become a bit of a buzz word at the moment. I'm inclined to think that's a good thing though; if enough people are talking about it maybe more of us will start to listen.

Here are a few ways you could show yourself some love this Valentines day.

1. Put your own oxygen mask on before you try to take on the world!

Anyone reading this post is likely to have multiple roles and responsibilities in their life.

However, we're also our own person.

To be the best you can be at all your other roles you need to look after you first.

Think about the aircraft safety talk - put your own oxygen mask on before you try and help anyone else with their own.

You shouldn't feel guilty about that, it's just common sense.

2. Try JOMO not FOMO!

The concept of the Joy Of Missing Out will help you to be a much happier and more content person than The Fear Of Missing Out. Honestly.

Try finding some time to think about what's important to you and and set yourself some personal goals.

Worrying about what everyone else is up to is more likely to make you anxious and unfulfilled.

3. Be perfectly imperfect.

Take some chances in your life - if you wait for everything to be perfect you're likely to be waiting a long time.

It's okay to make a mistake.

I used to really struggle with this. I know from experience that it can lead to a lot of pressure and anxiety.

I wouldn't blame someone else for making a mistake or if something wasn't quite perfect, would you?

Why should you give yourself that pressure? When you can accept that no-one is perfect it's a lot easier to feel happy with who you are. It also makes setting a few personal goals an easier thing to do as you're in a better head-space to take some risks.

If you are interested in finding out about the ways in which I can work with you to leave your anxieties behind and live your life to the full I'd love to hear from you. :)

You can book in for an Introductory Call now or just drop me an email.

Sarah x

The importance of having someone to talk to

6/11/2018

Walking and talking. :)

Hello. :)

I’m a bit of a Radio 4 junkie. There always seems to be something interesting to listen to and learn about.

While I got my lunch yesterday I was captivated by a short interview from the 1960's with a World War 1 veteran – one of the Voices of the First World War series of oral history.

It was one man telling his story of a torpedo strike. He survived without physical injury, but the psychological effects followed soon after and stayed with him for the rest of his life.

It is quite possible that it was one of the first times he talked about the emotional impacts of his experiences.

For me, the interview highlights the importance of having an opportunity to talk and be listened to.

It’s not always easy to talk

I think it can be quite difficult to talk about things that are important.

Sometimes it can take a while to even realise that there’s something that you need to talk about.

Sometimes you know you need to talk but you just don’t know who will listen.

Not only do you need the opportunity, but you need to know that you will be listened to and that you won’t be judged for what you say.

You need to know someone will really listen to you

I’m a great listener!

At the end of their initial consultation, my clients frequently tell me that it felt good to talk.

That they’d never had the opportunity to talk about ‘everything at the same time’ before.

The things that I frequently hear about in my consultations can pretty much be grouped into the following categories:

Issues from childhood and parents;

Humiliation or mortification;

Destructive relationships;

Loss.

These things might have happened decades ago, but they remain a powerful force.

They might be the cause of anxiety, a feeling of 'never being good enough' or a fear of rejection.

Is there something that you need to talk about?

It might have happened years ago, but you don't seem to be able to forget about it.

You might not have mentioned it to anyone else, or perhaps you mentioned it to your GP and all they could offer were anti-depressants.

I use natural and gentle homeopathic remedies and herbs to help you get through whatever it is that is affecting you.

Now might be the right time for you to talk. :)

Book your free Introductory Call here. :)

If reading this makes you think of a friend or family member I would love for you to pass this on to them.

If you'd like to find out more about working with me you can book a free Introductory Call, give me a call or email me.

I look forward to hearing from you. :)

Sarah

A few ideas . . . for better sleep

13/3/2018

My Border Terrier Bear specialises in good quality sleep. ;)

The benefits of good quality sleep

I think most people accept the importance of sleep. However, when it comes to prioritising sleep and doing what we can to aid good quality sleep, most of us could do better.

I am very grateful to say that sleep is rarely a problem for me. Despite this I still feel the benefits of a good bedtime routine. I have been actively working on mine for the last year or so. It doesn’t always go to plan, but the more I work on it the more of a habit it becomes.

As well as improving the quality of my sleep, the main benefit has been the feeling of calm that I now associate with going to bed. It’s a feeling I very much recommend!

A few simple ideas you might want to try

Look forward to it! Set aside a bit of time to clean and declutter your bathroom and bedroom. Having a clean, clear space around your bed and in your bathroom make getting ready for bed a much more appealing experience. In turn, getting good quality sleep is so much easier.

Step away from your screens! Decide on a time to say ‘goodnight’ to your phone, laptop, tablet etc. (I aim for 9:30pm every night – it doesn’t always happen but having something to aim for really helps). Cortisol is the hormone our body uses to regulate our sleeping patterns. Looking at your phone, and laptop and being literally attached to your smartwatch can play havoc with your cortisol levels. Having at least an hour of screen-free time before trying to sleep does make a difference.
Reduce your blue-light intake. As well as having screen-free time before bed, the build-up of blue-light exposure during the evening also disrupts your cortisol levels. Try using the ‘night-shift’ function on all your screens to help reduce this.
Go old-school, get an alarm clock, and make your bedroom a screen-free zone at night. If you get yourself an alarm clock, there’s no need to have your phone in your bedroom. It really does aid better sleep and, once you get used to it, allows your brain to ‘turn-off’ as it knows it can’t be disturbed during the night.
Introduce aromatherapy into your bedroom. Essential oils can be very effective when used properly. You can use them in so many ways, for example skincare products, aromatherapy diffusers, pillow sprays and roll-ons. If you want some recommendations let me know!
Avoid caffeine and alcohol after dinner. Find a more relaxing drink for the evening to aid sleep and help keep your body hydrated. My favourites at the moment are the Pukka Night-time blend or Echinacea and Elderberry blend.
If you share a bed and your routine isn’t the same as you partner’s, then invest in a sleep mask and earplugs if necessary. They really can make a difference.
Make an actual routine, stick to it for a week and see how you feel. Try and factor in an hour to your evening for this wind-down process. I used to watch TV to help relax but I’ve realised that now my bedroom is a much nicer place to be, my body and mind benefit so much more from time in my bathroom and bedroom before bed.
My routine is broadly as follows. There aren’t many people that can stick to an exact routine every night but having something to aim for that you can adapt as you need to is really helpful.
- Make a cup of night-time tea to drink during the evening
- Put my phone on the landing to charge at 9:30pm (ish!)
- Start the relaxation aromatherapy side of my Lumie Bodyclock Alarm clock when I go upstairs
- Get ready for bed - shower if I’ve got time and definitely if I’ve had a hectic day or still feel a bit wired; use an aromatherapy moisturiser (at the moment I'm using the Neal's Yard Create Body Lotion with added Lavender and Geranium essential oils)
- Read for a while
- Put Bear & Edie to bed downstairs
- Spritz my pillow with Goodnight Pillow Spray and check the alarm is set for the morning
- Turn out the light
- Sleep soundly till morning!

Still not sleeping well?

I work with many people who have issues with their sleep. If you’d like to have a chat to discuss your sleep problems I’d love to hear from you. Book in for a free 30-minute Introductory Call now. :)

If you enjoyed reading this . . .

You might be interested in my blog post Keeping Things Simple. :)

Sarah x

An idea for . . . an afternoon energy boost

4/3/2018

I don't know about you, but this extended winter that we're having has really put me into hibernation mode!

It also seems to have put me into 'eating mode'. Afternoons at around 4pm have become a bit of a low energy point leaving me thinking about tea and chocolate.

An afternoon smoothie has become my afternoon pick me up life-saver!

They taste good, they are a great energy boost and they are full of great ingredients. My kids really like them too, so they are a winner all round. :)

I know a lot of people just chuck things in a blender and create something good, but I find I'm better following a recipe. I had to stock up on a few items, but now I have them I can have a smoothie in my hand in minutes.

My current favourites are from Deliciously Ella. The Blueberry and Banana Breakfast Smoothie, Mango and Cashew Smoothie and the Banana, Date and Almond Shake are regular 4pm favourites. The Chai Latte is amazing at any time of day and is a great alternative to coffee and the Date Shake, is perfect if you're craving something really sweet!

If you like the sound of these smoothies you can find the recipes on the Deliciously Ella app or on the website and there are lots and lots of healthy and very tasty ideas to choose from. As well as smoothies there are also great recipes for breakfast, main meals, salads, sides and sweets.

Enjoy!

Photo by Sara Cervera on Unsplash

Set yourself a goal to help get where you want to be

28/9/2017

My goal was to run 5k, and four years on I still run every week. This is the view at the start of my local 10K race.

I'm not always very consistent at making proper goals and sticking to them. I am constantly striving to get better at it (I should probably make that a goal in its own right!). However, my running goal is one that I did achieve. Better still, I kept at it and have every intention to keep going.

I was prompted to think about my running again after Bear and I had our very own 'medal hoard' at the beginning of September. Bear was awarded 3rd place in the Border Camp South competition (an event for people who own Border Terriers) for Best Female Border Terrier and I got a Personal Best in a local 10K event the next day. Two medals in two days!

My PB is nothing amazing compared to many of the runners at the event, but it is still my personal best and I am so happy to have achieved it. There are so many people out there doing amazing things all around us that it can be easy to dismiss the importance of our own achievements. I really believe that setting yourself a goal is such a good way of doing something positive for yourself, and giving yourself the opportunity to shine - something that I think a lot of people struggle with.

Is now the time to set yourself a new goal?

This time of year is a great time to set yourself a new goal, especially if you have children in education and this is a new start for them too. I would love to hear about any goals you want to set yourself - whatever it is. Sometimes the act of telling someone else makes it a bit more real and means you will be more likely to stick to it! I will also be very happy to give you some encouragement along the way. :)

As you are probably aware, I'm particularly interested in working with people who are struggling to get to where they want to be. This could be because of issues with anxiety or lack of confidence connected to something - or someone - that has affected you, a sense of grief or loss or anything at all. In my experience setting a personal goal can be a really useful way of feeling better about yourself whatever situation you find yourself in. I sometimes use goal-setting as part of a plan of treatment as, depending on the goal, it can be one way of taking responsibility for your own health and well-being.

Why I set my own goal

I started running when I was 39. My mum developed severe osteoporosis in her 60s and it was distressing to see her suffering more and more as the years went on and not being able to do anything to help. I knew that high impact weight-bearing exercise was a good way to increase bone density and try and prevent osteoporosis, so I decided running was something I should do. Sport was not my thing when I was younger so this was a big challenge for me. I started using one of the 0-5K apps on my phone and about 6 months after starting the training, and a few months after I turned 40, I ran my first 10k event.

I now run between 30 minutes and an hour every week. A few years ago I could only dream of being someone that could 'just go out for a run'. It didn't seem like something I could ever achieve. It wasn't easy at all but I'm so pleased I persevered. The first few weeks of the training programme were agony. Just running for two minutes even with the knowledge that after that you could walk for 3 minutes seemed an impossibility, not to mention very painful!

It was a mental challenge just as much as a physical one. I can still remember making myself think that with every step I was helping to keep osteoporosis at bay. I also found that there was a huge benefit in exercising outside. I used to try and multi-task while I was running - planning out the rest of the day or working through a problem.

I now see a real benefit in just running and giving my mind a bit of time off. I look around me and see what's going on and notice things that I might not normally notice. When it feels like hard work I still like to think that every step is keeping me a little bit further away from osteoporosis. I also try and remember to be proud of my achievement - it might be a small achievement in the grand scheme of things, but it's still my achievement.

Interested in finding out more?

If you are interested in finding out more about working with me, how I can help you, and possibly setting some goals for yourself, please get in touch using the form below and we can find a time to speak. I'm easy to talk to and a really good listener :)

You might also be interested in reading my posts on gratitude, anxiety and tips on de-stressing and slowing down.

Gratitude: how it has helped me move forward

19/6/2017

This post was inspired by a newsletter that I sent out soon after Mother's Day earlier this year. I talked about the fact that for many of us, it can be extremely difficult to cope with a specific day in the calendar if it reminds us of someone that is no longer with us. It could be Mother or Father's day, a birthday, anniversary, Christmas or anything else that acts as a trigger for you.

I received some lovely replies to that newsletter which i really enjoyed reading. It made me think that it touched a chord with many of you, so I thought I would rework it as a blog post. I decided to focus on using gratitude to help get through a difficult time, which I hope you enjoy reading.

When my parents died it was a very sad and difficult time, but of course you can't make the assumption that losing a parent, or anyone, is always a sad thing. There could be any number of reasons why it's not. What is certain, is that whatever the situation, there will always be emotions involved. I feel that using gratitudes can be helpful to cope with any emotions, but also a helpful way to approach life generally. It's not just about facing times of difficulty, so I hope everyone will be able to take something away from this post.

The science behind gratitudes

Gratitude is actually big business now. Many large companies have increased staff morale, leadership qualities and productivity, amongst other things, by incorporating gratitudes into their work model. It doesn't only benefit those in the workplace though.

Research has shown that being grateful has a positive impact on the central nervous system and can actually affect the molecular structure of the brain. The result is that we are happier, healthier, less stressed and we're also likely to sleep better. What's not to like? If you're interested in understanding a bit more, read this article by The Power of Ideas on the power of gratitude for more details.

My own story

My mum died 11 years ago. I was only 31 at the time and about 8 weeks pregnant with Ivan. Sophie was 2 and a half and got chicken pox on the day of my mum's funeral. I can laugh about that now, but at the time it nearly tipped me over the edge, and means that I will forever associate chicken pox with funerals! I will always be grateful that I told my mum that I was pregnant just a couple of days before she was admitted to hospital and was still 'with us'.

My dad died almost two years after my mum. My parents had me late in life (I was an unexpected blessing according to my dad!), so they weren't young when they died, but that doesn't really make the grieving process any easier.

Using gratitude every day

Eleven years on, I'm happy to say that Mother's Day is no longer a traumatic day for me. I often think about my mum, but Mother's Day is now a day when I am particularly grateful for having her be my mum and can enjoy happy memories of her.

For the last few years I'd been trying to use gratitudes to help get me through difficult times like Mother's Day without realising that they were a 'thing'! Now I know a bit more about it, I have worked gratitudes in to my daily life with more purpose.

I use the Best Self Journal most days to keep myself organised, and one of the nicest parts about using it is the space to write three things you are grateful for morning and evening. I now find that even on days when I haven't used the journal, I am much more likely to take a step back from whatever I'm doing, long enough to think about what I am thankful for. It has definitely put me in a more positive frame of mind, and more importantly I think, it's helped me become a more thoughtful person.

What I'm grateful for

Of course this changes day to day. This morning when I went for a run through my local woods, I was grateful for the shade of the trees (it was about 28 degrees at 8:30am!), for my health so that I can run, for my running partner who gives me the incentive to keep up the running and for having somewhere as beautiful as Highwoods Country Park just a few minutes from where I live.

At times like Mother's Day it may well get a bit more deep and meaningful. As I mentioned in my newsletter, I will sometimes find old photos to help me remember my mum and dad and be grateful for them. These are a couple of my favourites.

The first one is in 1969 I think. My parents both worked in what was then Rhodesia (my mum was a nurse out there and my dad helped to run a school for local children on a Methodist mission). They met, married and my big brother and sister - the twins - were born out there. This is them all coming home to Britain for good on the ship SA Oranje. I don't know why, but I've always loved this picture, even though I wouldn't be around for another 5 years!

On their way back to England, 1969

The next picture is in 2003, just after Sophie was born. This was the first time they met Sophie. She was their first grandchild so it was a very special time for them.

Mum, Dad and Sophie - proud grandparents, 2003

Some easy ways to incorporate gratitude into your life

It's very simple to make gratitude a part of your everyday life. Here are a few pointers:

Each night before you go to sleep, spend a few minutes looking back over your day. Think about the things that went well or made you happy or anything in particular that you feel grateful for. Some days it will be deep and meaningful, other days it won't! It doesn't matter. It's a really nice way to end the day and according to research, will help you sleep better too.
Write it down. Basically do number 1, but write your gratitudes down. Get yourself a note book to keep by your bed, and write down a few things you were grateful for during the day - 3 is a good number, but it can be more or less. Better still, do the same in the morning too. It will help you get off to a positive start. If you ever feel like you're having a difficult time, it can be really helpful to read back over your note book.
Start a Gratitude Journal. It's a bit like number 2, but you will probably spend a bit more time doing it. If you want to use gratitude as a way to get you through something particularly difficult, then you might find more benefit doing an in depth gratitude journal, as opposed to just a quick list. You might like to read this article for some tips on starting a gratitude journal and how it helped the author.

Interested in finding out more?

If you are interested in finding out more about working with me, and how I can help you, book in your Discovery Call now. :)

You might also be interested in reading my posts on anxiety and tips on de-stressing and slowing down.

Anxiety - it doesn't always have to control you

14/6/2017

I find going out for a run or a walk with my dog to be a great way to ground myself and put things into perspective

Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease. It refers to the physical and psychological symptoms that we feel when we are anxious. Anxiety is a very personal thing and we will all experience it differently, but symptoms such as nausea, an accelerated heart rate, difficulty sleeping, a feeling of fear, dread, or numbness, an overactive mind and a sense of restlessness are common.

Why do we get anxious?

Anxiety is part of the ‘fight or flight’ response of the sympathetic nervous system – the way our body reacts to a perceived danger or stress. This response developed to help protect early humans from threats such as wild animals, by putting the body in a state of high alert to either fight the threat or flee. These days, it is far more likely to be triggered by pressures at work, home, or school. It should go like this – threat, response, recovery.

The trouble is, that for some people (1 in 6 people in any given week, according to the charity Mind), the reaction is being triggered so often that a state of anxiety becomes the norm. There is a lot of information available about the potential long-term effects of living in a prolonged state of anxiety. I came across an article which explains in a bit more detail how you need a balance between the two sides of the autonomic nervous system. It’s an interesting read and gives you a better understanding of the physiological side of anxiety.

This post is more personal - a snap shot of my own experience with anxiety. I want to share with you a bit of my own story in the hope of raising awareness of how anxiety can gradually take over, and that by talking about it, acknowledging it and being aware of why it is happening, you can beat it.

My story

I was a very anxious child. In fact, I was an anxious teenager and an anxious adult too. I was very self-conscious and constantly worried about what people thought. I had some very good friends that I could trust and I had a lot of fun - I just worried too, and over-thought everything. I never really ‘did’ emotions when I was growing up. I had a secure and loving family, but discussing or displaying emotions didn’t really happen. I didn’t know what to do with my emotions, so I just kept them bottled up inside.

School was the biggest source of anxiety for me. Doing a talk in class was the absolute worst thing. I was very creative at finding ways to avoid doing the things that made me anxious, which was basically anything where I was in the spot-light.

My anxiety mainly manifested as nausea. For years I barely ate on a school morning. I can clearly picture myself in the kitchen before school with my mum, feeling so sick and dreading going to school. When I got there and I was with my friends, I was usually fine, but knowing that didn’t alter how I felt every morning.

The crazy thing is that I just don’t think I realised what was going on at the time. I think I knew it was the worry about school that was making me feel so bad. I rarely felt ill at the weekend, well not until we all sat down to watch Open All Hours, Miss Marple, or some other Sunday night TV. It meant the weekend was almost over, and acted as the trigger for the anxiety to start all over again.

Anxiety in the driving seat

Fast forward a few years to my first proper post-university job. Within a year or so of being there I had developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome. This had a big effect on my job and involved being sent to see the company doctor. I took the decision to find a new job - something more within my comfort zone and out of the anxiety-trigger zone. The anxiety was taking over.

Regaining the controls

Another seven or eight years later, I had my first proper homeopathic consultation. The effects were incredible. It felt like all the layers of uncertainty and anxiety I had been carrying around with me since childhood were gradually falling away. It was such a subtle change that it was only at follow up appointments when I was questioned about certain things I’d mentioned before, that I would realise how much I had moved forward. I was still me, but those anxious thoughts and the almost constant inner dialogues were gone.

I can now say with certainty and gratitude, that anxiety doesn’t rule my life anymore – it hasn’t for years. That’s not to say I’m never anxious, but now it’s just how it should be - a temporary state, not one that takes control. The way I experienced anxiety was unique to me. My homeopath asked about my childhood experiences and the triggers and manifestations of my anxiety to give me a personalised prescription. It changed my life.

Interested in finding out more?

If you are interested in hearing more about how homeopathy’s individualised approach can help the symptoms of anxiety please get in touch - remember that anything we discuss is confidential.

For a few tips on slowing down and taking control of your day right now, you can take a look at my December post :)

Some thoughts on making 2017 a good year.

7/1/2017

A page of my Best-Self Journal

Happy New Year!

We are now more than a week into 2017. How is it going for you so far? I attended a series of workshops in the last few months of 2016, and one of the themes that has really stayed with me is that 'small things can make a big difference'. I have been working really hard in the last few weeks to implement some small changes to make a big difference to my life.

If you sometimes feel that life is getting away from you, or that despite your good intentions you never keep your new year's resolutions, read on to get a couple of ideas about some of the small things you could do to get 2017 off to a fantastic start. And keep it that way.

Planning

The biggest game-changer for me has been an emphasis on planning out my day. Until I got used to doing it, this was somehow a small thing and an enormous thing all at the same time! I'm still not doing it absolutely every day, but I do it most days, and when I do, I really notice the difference. I have found that it makes me feel in control of my day which is an amazing feeling! It means that there is no space for anxiety about getting things done or getting somewhere on time as you've planned it all out.

Now that might sound a bit dull to some of you, but it really isn't. As you get used to planning your day, you begin to have a much more realistic sense of what is achievable in one day. I have also found that it has helped me to think about what is important to me. My daily plan isn't just a long list of mundane tasks. The idea is that you plan so that you get the essential stuff done, but you also factor in time for the things that you want to do. It can help you to think about what you don’t want in your life any more too.

So, 1-4pm on a Saturday might be set aside for family time. You don't have to decide in advance what it is you want to do if don't want to, but just setting aside that time (and planning the rest of your day realistically) means that family time will happen! You might choose to have an hour set aside in your evening, for reading/ watching tv/ spending time with your children/ social media or whatever it is that helps you relax. The key is, that by planning when you are going to do certain things, it allows you to take control of your day (and stops you wasting hours scrolling through facebook!).

The one thing that really helps me with this planning is my Best Self Journal. It was recommended to me at the end of November last year and it really has helped. The journal is designed to last for 12 weeks, but as each page is blank, if you are on holiday, or you just decide not to use it for a day or two (I confess that there were several days in the limbo-land between Christmas and New Year that didn't get planned!) then you don't waste the pages - you just pick up again on the next page when you are ready. I will definitely be putting one on my birthday list! If you are interested, you can find out more here – you can also download some pages to try before you buy (and for those of you like me, that love stationary, it's a really lovely book with a hard front and back covered in dark blue fabric, has nice thick pages and a bright yellow ribbon to mark your page - see mine above!).

One thing at a time

Becoming more organised is key to taking control. I mentioned above that by planning your day you become more realistic about what is achievable in a day. Another thing is to become more focused.

Multi-tasking used to be the thing that we were all supposed to be able to do - if you weren't juggling 5 different things at a time then you were a bit of a waste of space. I've never been good at multi-tasking (how can you ever get something done properly and to the best of your abilities and actually finish it if you're thinking about a load of other things at the same time?), and so I'm very relieved that single-tasking is the new big thing!

I think this approach applies to everyone regardless of whether you work or not. I read the article 'Why single-tasking can make everything better' by Lauren Laverne, last week which explains it all very nicely. Since I've been taking steps to plan and be focused I would totally support the findings that suggest single-tasking reduces stress, increases productivity and improves focus and decision making. If you want more of that in your life read the article here - it will take you 6 minutes!

What do you want out of 2017?

You might decide that being more focused and organised is a great idea so that you can feel more in control of your life. Fantastic. But do you know what you want 2017 to be about for you? Life really could get dull if it’s just about managing the family diary or your work schedule (or both).

Why not set aside an hour or so one evening this week (tonight would be great) to make yourself a list of some of the things you would like to achieve in 2017? You might have one big goal (being able to run 5k in 30 minutes. Or just being able to run 5k!) or you might have lots of smaller things (having a relaxing bath one night a week). Then think about what you’ll need to do to make it happen. The big things will probably require long-term planning, the small things might just need a bit of thought and organisation. Whatever your goals, try taking some small steps today to help you have the 2017 you really want to have.

Need some help?
If you like the sound of all that, but you’re not quite sure where to start or where to find the energy or motivation then I would love to hear from you! Homeopathy is at the heart of what I do, but I also offer homeobotanicals (more about them soon) and can advise on organic skincare and supplements and can suggest small changes to your lifestyle to help you get back on track. Book in online for a free 20 minute chat or drop me an email to find out more.

Plan, Sleep & Breathe your way to a stress-free December (or any other time of the year)

14/12/2016

I find Christmas lights so calming on the condition they are set to 'steady on'. Any form of flashing light has quite the opposite effect for me!

Some tips on how to make life more manageable this December. Or anytime.

For children, the month of December is often just one big countdown to the big day. There seem to be Christmas events every few days, and even opening the next window on the advent calendar is an event in itself (I still remember that excitement, and I didn’t even have chocolate in mine!).

However, as an adult, it can all be a bit overwhelming. Especially if you’re the one organising everyone else’s Christmas activities as well as your own.

Here are a few things I have been experimenting with for the last few months that you might want to try now to make the lead up to Christmas more focused and less stressed.

PLAN
Each night before bed take 10 minutes to plan out the next day. It’s so easy to think we’ll get more done than we can. If you actually plan out the day it helps you to be realistic about what you can achieve in one day. You really do have to include everything though: taking the dog for a walk, your gym class, cooking dinner, travel time, as well as all the work stuff! If you also incorporate a list of the 3 things (or 5 or 10!) that you really must get done that day it will help you to focus your mind and give you the best chance of achieving them. I've been using the Best Self Journal to help with this - I really recommend it!

SLEEP
Work out a bedtime routine and try to stick to it. If you plan (see above!) it will help to let your mind be calm when you do finally get to bed. If you can add in a nice relaxing bath or shower before bed that will really help (check out the Lavender products at Rather Lovely to make your bedtime routine even more relaxing).

Make a conscious decision to stop checking your phone at least half an hour before you get in bed (more about why in another newsletter). If getting to sleep is a real problem for you then get in touch – I can help. Sleep is such an important thing and good sleep really makes a difference to your ability to get the most out of each day.

BREATHE

Okay, so I know we all breathe, but it’s conscious breathing that I’m talking about. I’ve been going to a new yoga class for the last few months and I’ve really noticed the benefit of the breathing exercise we do at the beginning of each class. If I find myself tensing up during the day or struggling to calm my mind at bedtime I use the breathing technique we’ve been taught. Give it a go when you turn out the light at night and at any time when you realise you are getting overwhelmed or stressed out during the day.

Here’s how: Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply through your nose. Try and count slowly to 4 and visualise filling the whole of your lungs. Breathe out through your nose, trying to breathe out for the same count as you breathed in. Use your tummy muscles to force out all the air from your lungs. Before your next breath in, try and pause for a few seconds, or as long as feels comfortable. Repeat! You will gradually be able to take longer, deeper breathes and at the same time feel your body relaxing more and more with each out breath. If your mind still wanders, with your eyes still closed, focus on the point between your eye brows while you continue breathing.

Give it a go, it really is a wonderfully calming and relaxing thing to do.

Wishing you a calm and peaceful Christmas!

Sarah x

What does your skin say about you?

18/6/2014

Homeopathy Awareness Week runs from June 14th – 21st this year and focuses on skin conditions. I thought I would write a few words on this subject and look at how homeopathy’s holistic approach can be used to help skin conditions.

When we think about our health we might think about the various organs in our body such as our liver, our lungs or our heart. It can be easy to forget that our skin is our body’s largest organ and it has some very important jobs: it protects us, it keeps us warm, cools us down, plays a part in eliminating toxins and allows us to interact with the world. When someone has a problem with their skin, they often see it as an isolated problem, as though the skin is just the packaging around what’s really important - so if the packaging is torn it doesn’t really matter as it’s not going to affect what is underneath. That’s just not true. Our skin gives us a clue as to how healthy we are on the inside. If something’s not quite right on the outside, there’s probably something not quite right on the inside either.

This way of understanding the skin as an integral part of the body rather than just as an independent outside layer reflects the holistic approach used by homeopathy. As a homeopath I want to know not only about your skin condition but about your general health and wellbeing. I will then find the best remedy for you to address the imbalance of your body as a whole, rather than just treating you for a skin condition. In this way homeopathy will addresses the underlying problem rather than just dealing with the skin itself by way of a localised treatment.

A skin problem can be an indication of something more serious. As a homeopath finds out about all of your symptoms they are well placed to spot potential problems and would advise you to get any concerning symptoms checked out with your GP. Liver problems commonly show themselves on your skin and other conditions can be indicated when there is a skin complaint accompanied by other symptoms. An example of this is polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) where excessively oily skin along with sometimes embarrassing facial hair growth and absent or infrequent periods could be the first indications of this condition in a teenage girl.

Remember to always look for a registered homeopath if you are thinking of trying homeopathy. A homeopath registered with the Society of Homeopath’s follows a strict code of conduct requiring them to practice safely by advising patients to go to their GP if there are concerning symptoms – for example if a patient seeking help for eczema was at risk of getting infected skin I would advise them to go to straight to their GP as if the infection did not clear up quickly it could lead to a serious infection of the blood.

I hope this article will prompt you to think in a different way about any skin problems you or someone in your family might be suffering with. It can be very difficult coping with skin problems that can be itchy, sore, and can make you feel self-conscious about your appearance. Try and think about it as your body trying to tell you something isn’t quite right and giving you the opportunity to do something about it. It could be caused by any number of things such as a food intolerance, stress, or a bad reaction to skin products or washing powder. Putting a cream on it so it goes away won’t actually get rid of the root cause, it just means that your body has to try harder to get your attention and let you know something isn’t quite right. In the meantime, I hope you all get the chance to let your skin safely soak up the vitamin D-rich sun rays this summer!

And if homeopathy just isn’t your thing I also sell a range of locally produced organic skincare products which can help you to cope day to day with your skin condition while naturally moisturising and protecting your skin. For more details check out my website.

If you are interested in discussing in more detail how you can get help with a skin condition feel free to contact me – all my contact details are on my website.

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You might not even realise it, but disenfranchised grief might be holding you back at the moment. This post will help you understand what it is and give you a few simple ways to help get yourself back on track.

The six things I've put back in my life to help find my sense of balance and calm again.

A simple way to find a moment of mindfulness to help you start your day right.

Homeobotanicals are a safe, effective and easy to use way of bringing your body back into balance naturally. This blog post introduces you to some of my favourite blends for supporting women with peri-menopausal symptoms. ​

It might be surprising for some of you to hear that your food can have an impact on your anxiety and feelings of stress.

Find out more about boosting your immunity with homeobotanical herbal drops.

Some manageable tips on looking after your health and well being by focusing on eating well, sleeping well, keeping active and managing stress.

Some simple habits that will keep you feeling more in control, productive and resilient.

​Given the current COVID-19 crisis, maintaining your health is likely to be on your mind at the moment. If you are looking to introduce some positive changes in your life I hope this will give you some ideas. :)

A few common sense ideas on how to help yourself and your family stay healthy and calm.​

Your morning drink in the garden, yoga or even moon-gazing. What will you try? Here are a few ideas to help you find your rest & digest state.​

​We all know about fight & flight, but what is the rest & digest response?

You might think I've got my seasons mixed up, but honestly, Autumn is the best time to act to get on top of your hay fever for next Spring and Summer.

The Hay Fever Prevention Plan

What now?

​Myths about the contraceptive pill

Love yourself this Valentine's Day (and everyday)

It’s not always easy to talk

You need to know someone will really listen to you

Is there something that you need to talk about?

​The benefits of good quality sleep

A few simple ideas you might want to try

Still not sleeping well?

If you enjoyed reading this . . .

​Is now the time to set yourself a new goal?

​Why I set my own goal

Interested in finding out more?

The science behind gratitudes

My own story

Using gratitude every day

What I'm grateful for

Some easy ways to incorporate gratitude into your life

Interested in finding out more?

Why do we get anxious?

My story

Anxiety in the driving seat

Regaining the controls

Interested in finding out more?

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Homeobotanicals are a safe, effective and easy to use way of bringing your body back into balance naturally. This blog post introduces you to some of my favourite blends for supporting women with peri-menopausal symptoms.

Given the current COVID-19 crisis, maintaining your health is likely to be on your mind at the moment. If you are looking to introduce some positive changes in your life I hope this will give you some ideas. :)

A few common sense ideas on how to help yourself and your family stay healthy and calm.

Your morning drink in the garden, yoga or even moon-gazing. What will you try? Here are a few ideas to help you find your rest & digest state.

We all know about fight & flight, but what is the rest & digest response?

Myths about the contraceptive pill

The benefits of good quality sleep

Is now the time to set yourself a new goal?

Why I set my own goal